Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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