Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
