She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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