Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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