This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
God, I missed his penis.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
