He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
