Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
wow bdsm is so cute
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