Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize