So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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