Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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