I am puke
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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