please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
