meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
