I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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