: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
