I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
