I smell stomach acid.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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