she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
