I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
