shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
