I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
