Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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