Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
