Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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