So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How external is "for external use only"?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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