Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
