I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
