Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
