i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
