It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
