So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
