in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
