that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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