just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
