My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
