Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
