I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
