So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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