if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
