Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
