First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize