"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
