its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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