So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
