im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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