It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
