I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize