I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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