I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
