I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize