I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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