i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
