are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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