Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Screwed.edu
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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