they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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