Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
