They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
