evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
