I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
