you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
