was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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