Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
