the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
