You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
