One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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