on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
